March 06 2023

Actually, how do you imagine Kankri and Mituna's relationship? Like, backstory/how they actually feel about each other/development or honestly, pretty much any thoughts you have about these two? Spare some headcanons?👀

— Anonymous

kanmeu:

Funny you ask anon because I was actually thinking of writing up a post about it! (warning in advance, this is pretty long, rambly, with some pretty crazy speculation and lots of reaching; so really just the usual with something involving Kankri Vantas lmao)

Ahh… troll 4chan x troll tumblr. My lovely fun clusterfuck of a ship. I know it’s pretty obvious by now but I really like these two! Their polar opposite personalities leads to a really fun possible dynamic of “Enemies” (you’re cringe/offensive fuck you) to “Friends” (aight you make me laugh with that joke against our dumbass npc/ignorant friends but you still suck fuck you) to “Brothers at arms” (huh we actually have a lot in common and agree on a lot of things despite our differences that’s cool bro coughfuckyoucough) to ????¿¿¿¿ (bro wait so you… actually care about me? uhhh… NO HOMO/IM CELIBATE FUCKYOU). Immaculate angst potential too.

However, let’s adress the big elephant in the room first:

I don’t really like the theory that Kankri dislikes Mituna because he’s dating Latula, or thinks that he doesn’t deserve her or worse that she’s only with him out of pity. Putting my gigantic hatred of mean spirited love triangles aside, I sincerely feel like that whole theory is just assuming the absolute worst out of both Kankri AND Latula.

First off, the pity thing was something that only Cronus has said in bad faith. And I think that if Kankri himself felt pity was in any way involved into the equation, he would dislike Latula instead. Especially considering he pretty much implied that one of the reasons he likes her is because she is so kind to Mituna without being condescending:

[…] Y9u never l99ked d9wn 9n any69dy, 9r saw it as y9ur civil duty t9 care f9r 9r “impr9ve” the warmer classes […]

LATULA: uh… y34h! th4t sh1tz 4 dr4g, why would 1 both3r w1th 4ny of th4t? 1 m34n, 1ll h3lp low bloods l34rn stunts 4nd ch34t cod3z 1f th3y w4nt, but th4ts 1t!!! […]

KANKRI: 9r the way y9u have always sh9wn kindness t9 pe9ple wh9 needed help, with9ut making them feel [tragic] 9r [helpless] f9r accepting it. […]

Latula seems pretty agressive with Damara, has no relationship to speak of with Rufioh, and since he won’t even accept help from Porrim the only “warm classed” person left that might’ve needed help that Kankri could have ever seen her interacting with in such a positive light (and also the only one interested in learning stunts/cheat codes and probably always around her anyways) is Mituna.

LATULA: 4nd 1ts 4lw4yz f3lt l1k3 h3 n33ds m3 1f th4t m4k3s s3ns3, 3v3n 4ft3r dy1ng. so th3r3z th4t!!!!

And from his talks with Porrim/Cronus and the way he speaks about Latula, we can infer that Kankri very clearly has a pretty idealized and romanticized view on love and relationships. So why would he hate Mituna for actually being half of the only healthy romantic couple in their whole friend group??? Jelly his gf didn’t pick him instead?? That’s Cronus again. Kankri is not a jealous person, you never see him act as such to Meenah and how people take her more seriously as a leader or on something FAR more significant: that Karkat had a lusus while he didn’t and thus was culled for it (In fact, he adores that kid so much and is so ridiculous about it that he wants to take him under his wing as a pupil).

What Kankri is however, is bitter and passive-agressive. But that’s the thing: if this blabbermouth wants to criticize something, he says it. And yet he never ONCE says ANYTHING AT ALL to either Mituna or Latula about their relationship. Ever. The only people that do comment about it, and negatively as well, are Cronus and Meenah.

And speaking of her, I frankly I don’t think Latula “aka basically an excellent judge of character, very perceptive and super overprotective of her bf” Pyrope would be so chummy with Kankri and

LATULA: k1nd of rusty. sh1t dont l3t kk know 1 s41d rusty, 4h4h4.
 #tw #h3mophob1c slurs

actually use a tw after saying something she knew would upset him and call him various friendly nicknames including “kk” (a nickname first coined in comic by a CAPTOR, no less) if he were secretly such a double faced asshole that thinks her long-term matesprit isn’t good enough for her. I mean, she pokes fun at him sometimes and views him as an awkward nerd (which to be fair he 100% is), but she also ultimately values her friendship with him. She says so herself.

KANKRI: Yes. 6ut regardless. What I’m saying is, it’s great we stayed away fr9m that. It’s helped me appreciate y9u as a friend, and admire all y9ur g99d qualities. Plat9nically, 9f c9urse.
LATULA: your3 r1ght! 1ts b33n pr3tty r4d wh3n you put 1t th4t w4y.

Therefore, I instead want to propose the theory that the reason she’s on such good terms with him, despite his unfortunate and unrequited red feelings and finding him a square, is that she knows that Kankri might also be harboring the most hilariously gigantic secret pale crush that has ever existed on the face of the earth on Mituna “show tits or gtfo” Captor and is in big denial over it.

Shocker right? Buckle up people, this is going to be a wild ride.

Keep reading

Designed by Miracle Gro Gardening | © 2016–2023 Powered by Tumblr